A 2012 study in the journal Dreaming found sleeping on one’s stomach is linked to having sex dreams. While only 5% of participants reported sleeping on their stomachs as their dominant position, they were far more likely to report having sexual dreams or dreams about being naked. The study authors hypothesize that when you’re lying on your stomach, your genitals are more likely to be activated. Having them pressed against the bed can cause physical stimulation and therefore erotic subconscious thoughts. Professional dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg thinks that this hypothesis has merit: “It is much easier to subconsciously imagine another body pressed up against you due to the front of the body being pressed up against the mattress,” she tells mbg. “What we see in our dreams can depend on many external factors. For example, some people say they were dreaming of arctic landscapes when they felt the cold wind with their feet,” adult sleep coach Eva Cohen tells mbg. Cohen says that erotic dreams are particularly interesting because they don’t reflect your current reality. Sex dreams are “mostly not linked to your actual sex drive and intimate relationships in real life. Simply speaking, you can have a great sexual life and still dream about the affair with your boss,” she says. That means if you’ve had a disturbing dream about hooking up with your ex, don’t worry. It doesn’t mean you want him back. Your imagination is just super colorful and capable of whipping up all kinds of odd things. Sex dreams are multilevel ways for our subconscious to reveal our deepest fears and desires. These fears and desires most likely have nothing to do with actual sex. “For example, the above-mentioned sex affair with the boss may mean that you want to get a career lift but aren’t ready to speak about it yet.” If you have an erotic dream about someone, it’s likely you’ve connected with that person in some psychological way. “Dreaming of having sex with your best friend or brother-in-law, for example, doesn’t mean you desire them but that you may have recently had a meaningful conversation where you really connected,” says Loewenberg. Our dreams are likely not something we can control. So, don’t beat yourself up for dreaming about a threesome with your work spouse and the UPS guy. Go forth and let your subconscious do its thing. Engle’s work has appeared in many publications, including SELF, Elle, Glamour, Women’s Health, Refinery29, and many others, and her articles have been shared over 50 million times, with her top posts reaching over 150 million shares. She also writes a popular advice column called Ask Gigi, and her first book, All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life, debuts in January 2020. She has a degree in both English and journalism from Fordham University College at Lincoln Center. Engle is an original member of The Women of Sex Tech and a certified member the World Association of Sex Coaches.
