We reached out to sex educator and coach Suzannah Weiss and sex educator and Girl Sex 101 author Allison Moon for their tips on how to nail it. The giver’s body is perpendicular to the receiver’s body (so their bodies form a T shape), as opposed to parallel (where their bodies are aligned in one straight line). (Here’s a helpful diagram.) RELATED: 29 Oral Sex Techniques That Actually Make Women Orgasm The positioning can be tricky, so Weiss suggests trial and error. “Find a variation of the position that’s comfortable for both of you,” she says. Moon emphasizes starting slowly to start off. “Offer positive affirmation to help your partner relax. Start slowly,” she says. Moon reminds us, “Take cues from your partner—everyone likes different things when it comes to cunnilingus.” “Not everyone likes penetration, or penetration coupled with cunnilingus,” Moon notes, though. “So ask your partner if they want to be fingered while you eat them out. Don’t just assume it’s always on the menu.” Using one of your free hands, you can also gently stimulate the perineum. For many, this is one of the best parts of the Kivin Method, and some say you may be able to feel this area pulsating when the receiver is close to climax. This isn’t proved to be definite, but it’s worth a try! (Here’s how to have a blended orgasm, aka a clitoral and vaginal orgasm combined.) “People who are fans of the Kivin method are generally those who like their clitoris stroked from left to right. So, if you masturbate by moving your finger from side to side over your clit, it might be for you,” Weiss says. For those who may have more sensitive clitorises, this alternate approach might make your knees buckle. “This position might allow for a more indirect approach to the clitoris, where the performer licks the clit over the hood, rather than lifting up the hood, which can be too intense for some folks,” Moon explains. RELATED: Never Had An Orgasm? Here Are 6 Things You Should Try Be patient with each other and be willing to try a couple of positions until you find what’s comfy for you both. Some folks swear by this method when gunning for an orgasm, but it’s important to remember that each vulva and their owner are different. All in all, have fun experimenting! White is the founder and editor of UnSung Literary Magazine, a flash fiction and poetry publication focused on offering artistic space for marginalized voices. She is also a guest editor with Quail Bell Magazine and the co-host of Critiques for The Culture, a podcast where media is dissected through humor and a sociopolitical lens. She is a lover of words, inquisition, and community and has used her role within both literary and organizational spaces to make room for folks who are often cast aside.
