Basically, it’s a lack of positive mental well-being without a diagnosable mental illness or a major depressive episode, for instance. With the rise of mental health challenges amid the COVID-19 pandemic, the term is receiving a resurgence of attention. As associate professor of human development and self-compassion expert Kristin Neff, Ph.D., tells mbg, languishing is similar to burnout in that it can contribute to feelings of numbness, lack of motivation, and exhaustion. “You’re just kinda stuck—and I think the reason [languishing] is getting so much attention now is because again I think the whole world is.” She adds that feelings of being stuck and unmotivated don’t necessarily mean you’re depressed but rather you’re dealing with “a kind of lower-grade type of depressive feeling.” To expand on that, one of Keyes’ conclusions from his research was, in fact, that “mental illness and mental health are highly correlated but belong to separate continua, and therefore the prevention and treatment of mental illnesses will not necessarily result in more mentally healthy individuals.” In short: Just because someone doesn’t have a diagnosed mental illness does not mean their mental health is good. The research concluded that “languishing and depression were associated with significant psychosocial impairment in terms of perceived emotional health, limitations of activities of daily living, and workdays lost or cutback,” Keyes writes. And for what it’s worth, he also found that the risk of a major depressive episode was nearly six times higher for languishing participants compared to those flourishing (and two times more likely for languishing participants than those who were “moderately mentally healthy”). “I don’t think you need to be mentally ill to seek therapy—I think even if you’re coping fairly well it’s a really good resource,” Neff notes, adding therapy is definitely the right move if your mood is starting to interfere with your ability to cope in your daily life. “But why wait until it gets to that point? Therapy is a proactive way of caring for yourself,” she says. There are different types of therapy that can be appropriate for people who are dealing with languishing. And if you feel you don’t quite need the help of a mental health professional, it can still help to reach out to loved ones for support. “Sometimes doing hard things with your body helps you to realize that you can do hard things, in general—that you do have that basic sense of control about yourself,” she adds. And of course, any form of exercise that works for you applies here, whether that’s a hike, a HIIT class, or simply taking a walk. Self-compassion allows us to relate to all the difficulties we face in life in a way that doesn’t sugarcoat things or deny reality but rather offers us a sense of warmth and care because it’s so difficult, Neff explains. It’s about acknowledging that, “Yeah, this hurts. And it’s difficult. It’s painful,” she adds. Self-compassion consists of three main factors: mindfulness, kindness toward yourself, and relating your experience to the shared human experience. When we frame our experiences in light of our shared human experience, Neff adds, “It helps just to remember this is part of the human condition, sometimes things like this happen, and there’s nothing wrong with me for feeling this way.”
