Knowing which of the five you gravitate toward can help you navigate relationships. Here, we dig into quality time, including how to know whether it’s your love language and how to show it. Importantly, you want your time together to feel special and sacred and to feel that you’re both truly present—“with the TV off, fork and knife down, and phones and tasks on standby,” he adds. Of course, not all schedules will allow this, but planning for those times during the day when you can just be together and connect is important if your partner’s love language is quality time. “Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there makes you feel truly special and loved,” Chapman explains. “Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.” Make it a rule of thumb to not multitask when you’re speaking with them, as this can be very bothersome. “Be interested in what your partner is feeling and how their day was, and you share your feelings and how your day was,” Paul notes. When your partner is speaking to you, do your best to actively listen. That means limiting distractions as previously mentioned but also being sure not to interrupt, which can feel invalidating. Give signs that you’re listening, acknowledge their feelings, and make them feel heard. Of course, plans inevitably fall through sometimes, and everyone needs time to themselves every now and then. If you need to cancel plans or need more alone time in your relationship, make sure you let them know in a way that reinforces how much you love spending time with them and are looking forward to your next planned event together.
