There is some debate about what squirt is and where exactly this fluid comes from, as well as if all women can squirt. It’s also possible that squirting is released through the urethra itself. The most important thing is that it can feel really good, and that pleasure is what really matters here. Here’s exactly how to make someone squirt (or how to make yourself squirt) and get it on this fun and adventurous way. Legendary squirting pioneer and sex educator Lola Jean says she tries to stay away from the idea that you can “make” anyone do anything sexually. Instead, think of it more as enabling them to have the experience. “If they don’t want to squirt, you’re not going [to] make anyone do anything,” Jean says. Squirting also doesn’t feel good for everyone (just like orgasms in general), so make sure the receiver is totally game before proceeding. “The woman needs to feel safe so she can completely let herself go. She needs to be relaxed, completely present, 100% in her body, and her mind may not be wandering,” says licensed sex therapist Moushumi Ghose, LMFT. Remember that this is about feeling pleasure, not performing for yourself or a partner. Enjoy the sensations your body is feeling and know that while you may not squirt, that’s not the main purpose of what you are doing. The main purpose is pleasure. RELATED: How To Have A Nipple Orgasm: Stimulation & Massage Tips “Explore your body and internal vaginal tissue. See what areas have arousal and erotic potential,” says AASECT-certified sex therapist Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT, CST. Set up a comfortable space where you and your partner can explore the body. When you’re aroused, the vagina naturally gets wet, the clitoris and labia swell and get darker, and everything becomes more sensitive. This heightened state of arousal is a cornerstone of squirting because in order to build up to a final release, you have to be willing to take the ride up to the top. For more ideas on how to get there, here’s exactly how to make a woman orgasm, tips for more explosive orgasms, and different types of orgasms to explore. This area is known as the G-spot, which is less of a “spot” and more of an “area” that happens to have a lot of erectile tissue, as well as an area where you can stimulate the internal, back end of the clitoris. “You will know you found the spot because it changes texture and feels more ‘rubbery’ when you are aroused,” Katherine Zagone, N.D., medical director and a sexual wellness expert at Gentera, tells mbg. There are a ton of toys to choose from: something simple like the We-Vibe Rave or a heavier toy like the njoy Pure Wand might be a perfect fit. G-spot stimulation alone is rarely enough to cause female orgasm or squirting, so you’ll also want to get some toys for the clitoris to help get you to that heightened state of arousal. Jean suggests trying a clit-sucking toy such as the Womanizer. Your wand vibrator could also be a useful tool. We love Le Wand Petite and classic Magic Wand. Communicate with your partner and experiment with what feels good. You might like vibration, or you might not. Consistent pressure could be the thing that works for you. Maybe you enjoy circles over the area. Perhaps you like a combination of things. This experience will be super personal to everyone Play pays special attention to mastery of these muscles. He recommends developing a “neuromuscular connection” with your PC muscles, meaning that you’re able to control when you’re contracting these muscles and whether you’re pulling them inward or outward. “When the G-spot is stimulated vigorously, it usually creates a natural tendency to squeeze and pull inward instead of bearing down,” he explains. “So, one of the keys to enabling squirting is to learn to bear down during intense G-spot stimulation.” If a partner is doing the stimulating, the receiver should still play an active role as well. “Ask her to alternately squeeze and bear down around your fingers to calibrate with her and know what it feels like when she does this,” Play says. Be sure to be gentle with yourself. Zagone says that while bearing down may work for you, controlling your PC muscles may simply mean letting them go or relaxing. Finding what works for you can take a lot of practice, so it’s important to do your PC exercises a few times a week to be sure they’re strong. RELATED: How To Masturbate: 25 Tips & Tricks From A Sex Therapist Get some high-quality lube to use with your sex toys, fingers, and everything else. It enhances sexuality, pleasure, and arousal. When in doubt, go for a water-based lube. Silicone lube is more slippery and requires less reapplication, but it can damage silicone toys. Pjur lube makes an excellent water-based lube that is free of parabens and chemicals, or here’s a list of the best natural lubes. You can also try a female arousal gel, such as one from Promescent. While they can be too intense for some vulva owners, there are some brands that make a very mild, all-natural version that can help promote blood flow to the clitoris and vulva. Instead of freaking out about it, embrace it. Skyler says that the mess should be seen as an erotic benefit, not something to get anxious about. If you’re nervous about the mess, simply put down a towel or two before getting busy. If you’re feeling extra fancy, you can even buy a sex blanket that is specifically designed for period sex, squirting, and all other manner of sexual fluids. They’re pricey, but they’re definitely pretty cool. It’s also worth mentioning that while it’s sometimes referred to as “female ejaculation,” squirting doesn’t always present as the gushing explosion you might be envisioning. Squirting is, like so many things in sex, unique for everyone. “Some squirt leaks, drips, streams, and, yes, some of it ejects,” Jean explains. “Squirting can happen during or independent of an orgasm. I like to refer to it as ‘sexual applause’: Something that’s happening is feeling good, leading to a release of fluid.” Although what works for someone is definitely not universal, Play has a winning squirting hack that he says has worked for tons of people. He breaks it down like this: “The best angle is for the giver to be in a bent-over row position, crossing her body, with the leg farther away from you over your shoulder. In this position, your two middle fingers should be inside her, with the index finger and thumb pointing down toward her anus. You hook your middle and ring finger together and keep them flexed and locked. Then apply pressure with your palm against her vulva (like pushing toward her head), stimulating her clitoris,” he says. “Then move your arm up and down, pressing down toward her anus and up toward the front wall of her vagina hard. The rubbing of the palm on the outside of her vulva is inducing sensation on her clitoris, while the fingers inside are causing sensation on the G-spot.” It may be easier for the giver to be on their knees in front of you. Grab a pillow so the knees can be supported. If you’re extra flexible, try placing a foot on the shoulder of the giver for even more vulva access. Communication is lubrication, so if something isn’t working for you, speak up and be open to finding something that does. With that being said, remember that while squirting is a fun and sexy thing, it isn’t going to happen for every single person. And that is perfectly OK. When it comes to sex, we should all be focusing on exploring the depths of pleasure we can experience rather than trying to achieve goals. Explore your body and have fun with it. If you squirt, that’s great. If you don’t, that’s great too! Engle’s work has appeared in many publications, including SELF, Elle, Glamour, Women’s Health, Refinery29, and many others, and her articles have been shared over 50 million times, with her top posts reaching over 150 million shares. She also writes a popular advice column called Ask Gigi, and her first book, All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life, debuts in January 2020. She has a degree in both English and journalism from Fordham University College at Lincoln Center. Engle is an original member of The Women of Sex Tech and a certified member the World Association of Sex Coaches.
