There will likely be times that you need to communicate with your ex—especially while you’re still figuring out the logistics of the split, and even more so if you must co-parent. And most likely, communication issues were a big part of the reason your relationship didn’t work anyway. Narcissists are known for playing games and being childish in communication—ignoring you, manipulating you, just generally making things difficult—and probably making you want to pull your hair out. The moment you realize you’re going to have to ask your ex to take your child to their soccer game when it’s technically your day, you begin trying to think of any possible alternative to having to interact with him or her. This means no doing them favors—even if it benefits your child. They may ask for more time with your child than the custody arrangement allows, and try to convince you that it’s in the child’s best interest. Say no. They may ask you to take the kids on a weekend you weren’t expecting, which would mean canceling your plans. (But you love your kids, so why wouldn’t you cancel your other plans to see them?) Say no. No matter the argument at hand, a narcissist’s motives are always self-preservation and advancement.
