The last thing I wanted was for my peers to think that I was crazy or woo-woo. When this happens, we often think our grief is obscuring our judgment. Are we hallucinating? Is it wishful thinking letting our imagination run wild? Because of this inner conflict, we usually keep these experiences to ourselves lest family or friends criticize us or back away with a wide-eyed stare. By following these three suggestions, you can strengthen your faith and even heal your grief. We feel that since we can’t see spirits, they must not exist. Consider this, though: We can’t see radio waves, but we know they exist. Spirits just vibrate at a frequency well above the visible range — that tiny sliver of the electromagnetic spectrum of energy that defines our reality. Other than the absence of a body, spirits are the same as they were in life, but without the mental and physical illnesses that may have plagued them. This realization gave me such comfort because Erik suffered miserably from bipolar disease, Tourette’s, and learning disabilities. Now, he’s free of all of these. Although I’ve heard Erik’s voice live, on recordings and even on the telephone, nothing compares to those times when I’ve actually seen him, physically. One night, just as I was about to lie down to go to sleep, I saw him jumping from the left foot of my bed to the right as my deceased sister, Denise, sat to his left, grinning. Stunned, I watched as he hopped back and forth, fully realizing how surreal the moment was. After several seconds, Erik turned to face me. His expression turned from contentment to startle, and he shouted, “Mom, you can see me!” Then he fell into my arms and we hugged. It lasted only a few seconds, but he felt so solid and the moment was lovely. Designate one hand as your “yes” and the other as your “no,” then ask your loved one a yes or no question. “Are you okay?” Then, hands apart, palms up, wait for a change in sensation in one. It might be a change in temperature or pressure. It might be a tingling, a burning, or a numbing sensation. If you don’t get anything, ask them to make it stronger until you’re satisfied that you feel a change. You can also simply start a conversation with them. I like routine and visuals, so I set out a cup of coffee for my son, Erik, and I start talking. Then, I wait to hear a reply in my head, which could be in his voice or my own. You can better your chances of a successful communication if you surround yourself with static, like that from a radio tuned between stations. You can also record messages from your loved one by setting a digital recorder on voice activation in a quiet room for several hours. If you’re more of a visual person, you might be able to get a glimpse of your loved one by sitting in absolute darkness so that your eyes aren’t focused on anything. You might start seeing all sorts of colors and shapes, but these will eventually coalesce into a face or body. In the end, you will discover that love knows no boundaries, even death. RELATED: What Your Dreams About Deceased Loved Ones Could Mean
